Ear Hustlin'...

A guy (Alan) 2 cubes over from me just got the following phone
call, probably from his daughter.

ALAN: "Hello? Hi Pumpkin"
Kid: (apparently explained the story , which was some
kinda crisis, which required some adult assistance
because, clearly, the kid had run out of ideas)
ALAN: "Where's your mother? Did you try calling her?"
Kid: (explains further, mom's not home, not answering
her cell)
ALAN: "What do you mean Austin broke the damn
doorknob? How did he do that? He's locked in the
bathroom?"
Kid: (i dunno, blah blah blah, i dunno...i can't get
him out...we tried to do this, we tried to do that...)
ALAN: "Tell him to try putting a screwdriver in the
little hole and jiggle it a little..."
Kid: (we tried that, but we'll try again...maybe we'll
hit it with a baseball bat...Austin's crying)
ALAN: "Where's your mother? You know what you need to
do--Go get Dave. Just go knock on his door and ask him
to come over and help you. Nothing I can do for you
from over here. Bye" (hangs up)

Alan subsequently rings his wife's cell phone
unsuccessfully. He makes another call, presumably to
some older offspring...
ALAN: "Where's your mother? Is she there with you?
She's shopping??!!!"
Kid: (blah blah blah...she's here...i'm at another
store in the mall or something...call her phone..)
hangs up.

Alan rings her phone again...no answer. Calls the
daughter back, and with a little attitude this time.

ALAN: "WHERE IS SHE? DID YOU SEE HER YET?"
Kid: (yeah..blah blah blah..she's here...i told her
you called...she forgot her phone at the house...)
ALAN: "WHY THE HELL DID SHE LEAVE HER CELL PHONE? PUT
HER ON THE PHONE!"
Kid: (hands the phone to mom)
ALAN: "YOU NEED TO GET HOME AND GET AUSTIN OUT OF THE
BATHROOM"
Mom:(blah blah blah...WHAT?...WHY?...)
ALAN: "I DON'T KNOW. HE's locked in there, and they
are about to take a baseball bat to my doorknob!"
Mom: (waWAwaWA wa wa...sure..i'll take care of it)
ALAN: "Bye!"

Alan calls kid #1 back at the house and says that mom
is on the way.
ALAN: "DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH THAT BAT!"
Kid: (yeah..whatever dad...bye)

Alan stands up, sighs, walks out of his cube, turns to
Randy and says, "let's go grab some teriyaki
downstairs..."