The Worst thing...Talk Shows

The worst thing about being unemployed is not talk shows. Although there are plenty of talk shows that should have been put out of their misery before ever having a single episode broadcasted, it's not fair to lump all of them into that bag. Oh sure, Jerry, Maury, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck are indeed a waste of good airtime in my humble opinion, but I always have the option not to watch and I don't. However, too much of Oprah, Dr. Phil, or The View is not necessarily healthy either. Who knew that Americans had so many issues?

The gainfully employed only hear about these issues in passing, maybe by the water cooler or in conversations with some friend of theirs that is able to watch television all day. They (the gainfully employed or, G.E's for short) quickly detach themselves emotionally from such conversations, dismissing them as things that don't matter and that will do nothing to improve their bottom line. The GE's know no one in real life afflicted by such issues, nor do they have time to waste even a passing thought on whether or not the Octomom is getting over on the system with all of her foolishness. But us unemployed folks do sometimes, and like any train wreck, it's often hard to look away. And why should we? We've got no deadlines, no place to be, and no calls to make. We get sucked in to the point where we almost look forward to the mindless dribble that is coming to us through the airwaves.

When I was employed, they could not hook me with the ol' “stay tuned” trick before going to commercial. You know the one.

“Find out what Paris Hilton was caught doing and with whom after this word from our sponsors.”
“Was the Octomom a stripper? Find out after the break.”

I would change the channel or turn it off and keep stepping, thinking nothing of these burning questions that I was being led to believe I had to know the answers to before I could go on. As I sit in front of the tube with remote in hand now, I might hang out for a minute. “Hmmm? Was she doing something strange for some change? Did she make so much money swinging around that pole that she decided she could afford 8 more kids? Or did those 8 kids make the pole a necessity?” You can see the circular logic that preys on an idle mind. As I ponder this “what if” for the ages, it occurs to me that this is how the guy that asked the question about the chicken and egg must've felt the day that he stumbled upon that mystery.

There are also the talk shows that expose you to ailments that you did not know existed. Unemployment really leaves you vulnerable to these.

“Are you short, tall, or sometimes uncertain about where your life is heading?”

Yeah, of course. Doesn't that just about cover all of us? So you stay tuned because you've just got to know if you are among the afflicted. If it wasn't enough that you've got the problem of suddenly having no income, they want to add another to your list so that you can join the 1 in 5000 Americans who cope with this condition each day; albeit, some better than others. Fret not. There is help available. You are not alone.

Inevitably, the topic of depression or apathy comes up. Naturally, as a person that has nowhere to be and has no money promised you for not having to be anywhere to do anything, your sense of purpose and self worth come into question at least a half dozen times per day. Watching these talk shows will have you wanting to jump off a bridge or join a self help group, when you should be out foraging for sustenance. One thing's for sure: no job ever found you. Turn the TV off and, in the words of Outkast and Goodie Mob, Get up, Get out and Get Something!

The Worst thing about being Unemployed

Being unemployed ceases to be fun at precisely the point in time when you have no more money and no means by which to get any money anytime soon. (Not that it was ever "fun" in the first place, but prior to this event, it kind of feels like an unplanned vacation.) That however, is not nearly the worst part of being unemployed. It is indeed true that money does not buy happiness and this instance is no different. Sure, money can grease the skids a little for you in that never ending pursuit of said happiness, but in the grand scheme of things it is merely a means to that end and not the end itself. As I was sitting here staring at the wall, it occurred to me that I had been doing so for at least the last 20 minutes or more. I had been trying to figure out what was the worst thing about being amongst the ranks of the unemployed. What a positively constructive pursuit that is, right? After all, armed with that information I'll be able do what? No one is eagerly awaiting my thoughts on the matter. Coming to such a determination would not bring me fame, nor fortune. On the heels of this discovery, you would not find me embarking upon a speaking tour to enlighten the masses. No, there is but a single positive destination for this train of thought to move toward. That positive, my friends, is that I am moved to write.

Over the course of the next few essays (or ramblings), we'll explore what has turned out to be a seemingly never ending source of rumination.